Saturday, July 26, 2008
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"The Pursuit of Happyness". A pictureshow about how a man was not happy, not at all, and very desperate indeed. But he worked against the odds, and found happiness through hardwork. Happiness in the form of material well-being. And the show ended. It was that simple.


But how does one attain happiness, when he is forcefully taken from his life in the prime of his teens and placed somewhere that who you are or what you are does not matter anymore. It really does not matter. Whether you are the son of a rich man, poor man, beggar or thief, you still go through the same thing.


It does not really matter how hard you struggle either, or the choices you make. You just want to get out. Or am I just someone whose thoughts differ from the norm? I reckon not.


The trade off. In order to keep things together, the things I gave up. And the things I am going to give up. Life in a photoframe. That is a phrase I came up with after I received a beautiful gift from a friend, with a photo of us. That is what I realised I was going through 5 days a week. Living with the memories for 5 days, and coming out to make new ones every weekend.


And then I sat alone in the room. Everyone else seemed occupied and noisy, maybe happy, from all the laughter I heard. It was so noisy I could not evern seek solace in my solitude. But I ask myself, are they really happy? Or are they merely distracting themselves? Am I the only one who is weak to show what I really am?


Its kind of too late now. I should just really try to be happy every weekend.


Don't leave me now alright?

faded away at*11:44 PM

Sunday, July 20, 2008
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Nothing endures but change. A simple quote from Lives of the Philosophers by Diogenes Laertius, but yet it explains so much that happens in life. It gives us a reason, some consolation, presenting us with a much more optimistic outlook at how things flow.


In everyone's lives, one is bound to meet something beautiful, something of the immaterial sort. A moment in time, one that we would want to hold still forever, freeze the time. But soon it all becomes but a memory.


But does it really matter? For change is the constant. There is a chinese saying: 不求天长地久,只要曾经拥有. Though usually applied in love, this saying can actually be meaningful in many other ways. Not requiring it to last forever, only asking for once having had it. Living for the moment. Then life goes on.


Ahead I see many changes in life. How people will soon move on in life, heading in different directions. A crossroad. We are just loitering around, delaying the inevitable, yet we all know what is to come.


A friend mirrored my thoughts. Words has its weakness, how some thoughts are just so hard to pen down. But his one word summarises the whole situation. Bittersweet. Yes, it may mean losing in a selfish way, but to see that people are growing, you have to feel happy for them. For you love them.


A poem I learnt from literature lessons in secondary 2 in the book The Outsiders by S.E Hinton, orignally penned by Robert Frost


Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.


Beautifully sums up what I have been trying to express.


And so as much as changes go, it is time for a change in url. In my old blog, I wrote in many various styles, finding my way through teenage life. Still very much a confused teen today, but with a clearer picture of what I want to write.


To the new site.

faded away at*1:14 PM

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